another day

So, this morning was the most difficult morning I've had...it's hard to leave Samuel each day, but harder when Josh takes him to my mom's instead of me being able to drop him off.
UGH! Each day gets more difficult, but brings me closer to the end of this placement. My hearts feels for those mommies who must work but want to be home with their babies (no matter how big!).

My whole life, I've only wanted one thing - to be a mommy. I'm now learning that being a mommy can consist/demand more than staying at home with those sweet faces. My dream is to stay home while my babies are little and to work as a teacher when they go to school. We'll see if it'll work out as I hope! :) God knows the desires of my heart - He also knows what's best for me and for my family. Which, amazes me! As much as I love my husband and my baby, God loves them even more than I ever can. It's mind-boggling and so comforting at the same time. He has all of our best interests in mind and will always do what's best for us - ALWAYS.

Samuel doesn't sleep during the day - he takes a couple 20-30 minute naps each day. He falls asleep at 5 or 6 for the night. This leaves me SUCH little time to see him and interact with him. ::sigh::

On a positive note: I find I get SO much more accomplished when I'm busy than when I have little to do. I accomplished more yesterday after getting home from school than I accomplish when I'm home all day with Samuel. (although, he is an "all-day baby" as my mom and I say - he requires all-day attention as he never sleeps and never stops moving - the pediatrician even commented on his constant movement - I think we're in for it when he becomes mobile. ah! :) )

Anyway, I'm getting really excited about Easter - Samuel has a "lady-killer" outfit (as my husband says)...can't wait to share pics of it!

Smiles for Mommy

I'm back to student-teaching. I had hoped to finish it before having Samuel, but he had other ideas. He decided to try to arrive at 25 weeks, so I was put on bedrest half-way through my student-teaching position.

Now, he's 10 weeks old and I'm back in the classroom. I have to leave this little face everyday:

It's so hard bc he's now starting to smile at me and kick his little legs when he hears me or sees me. But it's all worth it when I pick him up at the end of my day and he smiles at me. :)

It's hard to leave him when this wasn't what I had planned (isn't it funny that I can still think that MY plans determine the path of my life when I ask God to guide me???). But God reminded me this morning of this promise:

"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you" - Psalm 32:8

God's best for me is always BEST, better than I could ever imagine, even if it's not always fun at the time. I just need to remember that and relish in baby smiles and kicks at the end of the day :)