the BEST gifts

It's funny how God will teach us even when we've "not found the time" to sit and learn from Him every day.

Life has been crazy lately - Samuel is now mobile, and moving fast. So, the time I had while he would lie and play is now consumed with chasing him around and trying to stay one step ahead of him in order to head off any major accident. (When did he grow up?! :( )

Needless to say, at the end of the day, I'm tired, and the laundry I do at 10:00 each night is usually the last thing I do before crashing into bed. I hate that. I want to have time to sit and learn and talk with God. I want to have time carved out everyday for Him - that needs to be a priority, regardless of erratic nap schedules and adorably clumsy baby boys.

But, God knows my heart, and teaches me in quiet moments throughout the day.

I want to share one lesson He taught me in the stillness of a napping baby on my chest.

Samuel NEEDED a nap. He was miserable. He, however, doesn't want to miss a moment of life, so refuses to nap more than necessary. This day was no different, except that he was miserable from his short naps during that week. I rocked him, sang to him, but nothing worked to get him to sleep - he had the hiccups.

So as I sat on the bed in the nursery, I prayed and prayed for God to take away his hiccups so my baby boy could get some sleep he so desperately needed.

God did a funny thing - He didn't take away Samuel's hiccups. He simply allowed him to fall asleep and then they stopped. But he didn't fall asleep while I was sitting and rocking him in order to put him back in his crib. He fell asleep lying on my chest in bed.

You see, this doesn't seem special to you, but to me, it was extremely special. and God knew that.
I've always wanted Samuel to fall asleep on me that way, so we could rest together. But he never has - he would only sleep on his daddy that way until that afternoon.

In the quiet of that nursery, God didn't answer MY prayer against the hiccups, but He answered the DESIRE of my heart. He knew what gift to give me that afternoon - He knew better than I, what I wanted. Like always.

So I savored that sweet, squishy baby boy on my chest and we napped together - I was more exhausted than I realized. But God knew. :)

His ways are ALWAYS higher and better than our ways. His gifts are always BETTER than we could ever ask or think.

always.

This boy... my favorite gift of all!

Grace

I have to admit I've been somewhat selfish lately. Somewhat self-absorbed.

Three weeks ago I went into pre-term labor at 25 weeks into my pregnancy.
I had no idea I was having contractions - go figure! :) - but went to the hospital with severe pain and humored the nurse as she told me I was, in fact, having contractions.

The thing is, this pain had been happening for a week or so. It had only gotten worse while on a road trip that weekend for our first baby shower. I prayed for it to stop and for everything to "be okay."

After hearing this news from the nurse, my husband and I were scared. While in the hospital, I prayed for the pain and contractions to stop. I prayed for labor to stop. I prayed the medicine wouldn't make me horribly sick just as the nurse had warned me it would. I prayed to be released the following day. After spending a day longer than I had hoped in the hospital, I was sent home on bed-rest.

I am still having contractions on occasion and am dealing with pain. I never knew bed-rest could be so taxing on a person - emotionally, spiritually, and physically. My husband and I pray for the pain and contractions to stop. I secretly (well, it's no secret now! :) ) pray that I will eventually be taken off bed-rest before our little man is born.

The thing was, none of these prayers were being answered in the way I had hoped. The medicine made me horribly sick, I'm still having contractions, I'm still in pain, and I'm still on bed-rest. I would be lying to say that I wasn't growing frustrated with God.

Today was one of those days when I was especially frustrated. In my boredom and sour mood, I purchased the new Shane & Shane album in hopes of cheering myself up - God definitely had a change in my mood in His plans! The following lyrics caught me by surprise and brought me to my face in front of God:

"What are you gonna do when the doctor comes into the room, puts his hand on you and says, 'I'm sorry'?
What are you gonna say to God when all you do is pray to God to take the thorn away
And all you hear Him say is,
'My Grace, my Grace, my Grace is sufficient, my Grace is sufficient..."

How did I feel after hearing this? Utterly selfish and immature. I had completely forgotten that He hears me ALWAYS - it's not that He wasn't answering my prayers - He is answering my prayers, but just through a means that will make me a better person in the end.

I say none of this for pity or sympathy (I know it'll all be worth it in the end when we have a healthy baby boy), but to share the lyrics of this beautiful song and refresh your faith that regardless of what you're facing, regardless of your situation, He hears the prayers of His children and ALWAYS answers them in a way to make us better versions of ourselves. We may not understand - most of the time, we won't, but eventually, He'll let us see His beautiful plan and how it worked out so much better than we ever could have planned or imagined on our own.

May I never forget this.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13