Changes

Sunday night, Samuel wore shoes in a size 1. Monday morning, he needed a 2. No joke. Things are changing so quickly!! This little boy is growing up faster than I like!!

He's now eating solid food. LOVES sweet potatoes! He was crying because I wasn't getting them in his mouth fast enough. He was grabbing my hand and shoving the spoon into his mouth and would pull it out wanting more. Daddy said he'd only eat them with brown sugar and cinnamon - Samuel showed him! Here's hoping for a child who makes healthy choices.

On that note, I've started making his food with our baby bullet. It's my new hobby. I LOVE buying the organic produce and making his food at home. I feel so much better with him eating that than the "organic" baby food I find in the stores that contains lots of other ingredients...aka tuna oil in his pears to add DHA. Hmmm...

I will admit that I buy some jarred baby food to have in case we need it or we're out without his homemade food. Don't judge. :)

Samuel is now grabbing toys - it's so nice to hand him a toy to entertain him and he holds it himself. He's formed an attachment to the blanket in that picture. He eats it, growls at it, nuzzles it, and complains to it. (He's a complainer...he'll moan and groan as long as someone will listen and talk back. ha)

He's also started to put EVERYTHING in his mouth. He's drooling everywhere and chewing on everything - my arm when I'm changing his diaper, my face when he's playing, anyone's fingers who will hold his hand. Is it possible that he's teething at 4 months old??

Josh and I are about to reach a milestone. We may be dicontinuing the use of his breathing monitor. In the past week it's become more of an annoyance than a help because a certain little boy turns circles in his sleep. The monitor comes loose and then alarms, waking us and Samuel. So, I may have to trust in God LOTS these next few weeks until Samuel reaches 6 months old and the risk of SIDS declines.

God gave us this little boy and I have to trust that He'll sustain him. He always can, better than we could ever know how. Isn't that a relief?? :)

Belly Sleeping and Mommy Guilt...

As I type this, I am obsessively staring at Samuel's video monitor to make sure he's still breathing.
This is his first nap on his belly. Don't judge me.
If there is any mother who is obsessive about anything that comes in contact with her child or anything concerning her child, it's me. I was extremely obsessive about all things before Samuel was even a thought, and his appearance has created more of a monster...ask my husband. :)

So, I've done lots of research and lots of thinking about this issue. I've also done lots of worrying because my 3-month old refuses to do anything during tummy time but suck on his hand...(no joke). He can lift his head when he's up on our shoulders, and he'll hold his head steady while sitting up, but lay him on his belly and he goes limp. So I'm determined for him to learn to lift his head - if for no other reason than cute pictures ;)

So, he's on his belly for his afternoon nap today (which, by the way, was a rare occurance until today - maybe belly naps are the secret). He's wearing his breathing monitor (see my post: Products We Can't Live Without), and I keep checking on his every few minutes...so much so that I'm not getting anything accomplished while he's sleeping....

We've also been having issues with the 45-minute intruder. Anyone else having this issue with naptime being interrupted at 45 minutes for no reason at all?? His tummy sleeping has seemed to resolve this issue. My fear is that he'll no longer want to sleep on his back at nighttime. If that's the case, cue the psycho-obsessive-mommy....

First Foods...obsessions

Lately, I'm obsessed...

Samuel just turned 12 weeks old this past Sunday and I am beyond excited about him starting solid foods in 4 weeks. I'm obsessed with it. I received a Baby Bullet as a baby shower gift and have been waiting to use it. I squealed with delight when I opened it (ask my husband - he experienced the pandemonium).
Last night I began reading the Baby Bullet recipe book and menu - I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all right now, so any tips on making food and first feedings will be much appreciated. I'm so anxious to begin shopping for his food and making it - I was heartbroken to read that it only freezes for 30 days... :( I'll have to restrain myself for a few more weeks....

I know I'm one of THOSE moms - I plan to have the video camera set up, camera in hand, ready for his first experience with food. I'm not ashamed - I pushed his stroller on his first walk around the neighborhood with camera in hand - I'm obsessed, I don't deny it. :)

...I'm also obsessed with these sweet treats:

Easter and Valentine's Day are the two holidays where my chocolate allergy REALLY stinks! So I stock up on these delicacies (candy to some...bits of heaven to others...) when I can - donations appreciated ;). My post-baby weight loss is not benefitting from these holidays though!

..speaking of post-baby weight...the beach is coming up in less than 2 months - at this point, I'm considering a moo-moo - my pre-baby Victoria Secret 2-pieces aren't going to cut it this year....::sigh:: - but I have ZERO motivation/energy to workout - can shopping count as a workout? - that I can do! :)

baby carriers

humor me for a moment and let me write an entire entry about a mommy issue - baby carriers.
I have tried a few slings/carriers/moby wrap and am having no luck! :(

I ordered a sling, and it seemed the right size, but when my husband tried to put Samuel in it (yes, in our house it's a 2-person job), there was not enough room...

I tried the carrier on the front of my body, the kind that looks backpack-ish, and Samuel hated it. I can't blame him, it was snug in all the right places, but his head seemed to have no support and it seemed like his body was just dangling...

I tried the MobyWrap and it seemed like a form of toture getting Samuel in it. (he actually screamed the whole time - not that I blame him on this either, wouldn't you scream if you had a nervous, clueless person trying to strap you to her body using only an incredibly long strip of fabric?) Also, I felt unsure that this wrap would hold him securely - so I held him up with my arms negating the point of the carrier....::sigh::

So, I'm at a loss - maybe Samuel and I are not compatible for carrier-life. Any suggestions???

Would you judge me if I told you....

Would you judge me if I told you....

-lately my days off with Samuel have been "pajama days" spent lounging in my husband's heavenly robe a little too late in the day...with no desire to go out and share Samuel with anyone...(can you not just hear the helicopter mom hovering over him???)

-I'm so beyond excited to go to the beach this year that my mind is already there...it's all I plan for, all I Pinterest for...so much so that I purchased this body butter, which I love, to make me feel like I'm at the beach...it's my mid-day pick-me-up while cooped up in a room full of teenagers :)

-I lose sleep because I spend my sleeping hours watching Samuel on the video monitor (I'm sure my husband appreciates the bright blue glow in the room from leaving the video monitor on :)....

-I'm earning my certification to teach English, but I'm bored by most classics (ah!)....

-I'm completely turned off to any reality shows...American Idol, The Voice, (the 84 other reality shows on these days)...

-I'm not a movie person - if I'm not into it in the first 15 minutes, I turn it off...

-I would love to be paid to write Sunday School/VBS curriculum and skits...I'd like to get paid to create/improve curriculum for private schools (they should be held to a higher standard than public schools....//soapbox??)

-As I am typing this, I'm watching my son to lick the side of his swing....(whose kid is this, anyway??)

...I should probably stop him..... ;)

another day

So, this morning was the most difficult morning I've had...it's hard to leave Samuel each day, but harder when Josh takes him to my mom's instead of me being able to drop him off.
UGH! Each day gets more difficult, but brings me closer to the end of this placement. My hearts feels for those mommies who must work but want to be home with their babies (no matter how big!).

My whole life, I've only wanted one thing - to be a mommy. I'm now learning that being a mommy can consist/demand more than staying at home with those sweet faces. My dream is to stay home while my babies are little and to work as a teacher when they go to school. We'll see if it'll work out as I hope! :) God knows the desires of my heart - He also knows what's best for me and for my family. Which, amazes me! As much as I love my husband and my baby, God loves them even more than I ever can. It's mind-boggling and so comforting at the same time. He has all of our best interests in mind and will always do what's best for us - ALWAYS.

Samuel doesn't sleep during the day - he takes a couple 20-30 minute naps each day. He falls asleep at 5 or 6 for the night. This leaves me SUCH little time to see him and interact with him. ::sigh::

On a positive note: I find I get SO much more accomplished when I'm busy than when I have little to do. I accomplished more yesterday after getting home from school than I accomplish when I'm home all day with Samuel. (although, he is an "all-day baby" as my mom and I say - he requires all-day attention as he never sleeps and never stops moving - the pediatrician even commented on his constant movement - I think we're in for it when he becomes mobile. ah! :) )

Anyway, I'm getting really excited about Easter - Samuel has a "lady-killer" outfit (as my husband says)...can't wait to share pics of it!

Smiles for Mommy

I'm back to student-teaching. I had hoped to finish it before having Samuel, but he had other ideas. He decided to try to arrive at 25 weeks, so I was put on bedrest half-way through my student-teaching position.

Now, he's 10 weeks old and I'm back in the classroom. I have to leave this little face everyday:

It's so hard bc he's now starting to smile at me and kick his little legs when he hears me or sees me. But it's all worth it when I pick him up at the end of my day and he smiles at me. :)

It's hard to leave him when this wasn't what I had planned (isn't it funny that I can still think that MY plans determine the path of my life when I ask God to guide me???). But God reminded me this morning of this promise:

"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you" - Psalm 32:8

God's best for me is always BEST, better than I could ever imagine, even if it's not always fun at the time. I just need to remember that and relish in baby smiles and kicks at the end of the day :)