Little Eyes and Mommy Exhaustion

We are exhausted. After 9.5 hours of labor yesterday, which suddenly ended with no progress but thankfully, still a healthy baby in my belly, we are exhausted in so many ways... (by, "we", I mean, the hubs and I....he dealt with lots of hand squeezes and requests from this uncomfortable momma...)

Which made today more difficult. We had to unexpectedly leave our little guy with my mom overnight - much longer than he expected...so, he was understandably clingy today. And extra "2 years old" today, if you know what I mean. ;)

Amidst the screaming because he wanted a "different cart" at the market...the tears because we wouldn't let him play outside in the thunderstorm....the drama because I only had one sucker in my purse...and the outrage about our refusal to feed him gummies and cookies at his demand, I learned something. Not only are little eyes watching our every move, but little ears are hearing our tone of voice and the side comments we make on frustrating days.

I must say, aside from the drama, this guy was a sweet little BLAST today. He kept us laughing most of the day!

I noticed when our little man repeated, "WHAT?!" after one of us responded to the other in that way. I noticed whenever his little stress level in the market rose along with mine at the fact that there were TWO REGISTERS open in the entire store!!!! (I'm over it now, though ;) ). In case you're curious, we ended up being one of "those families" who loaded up their entire cart onto a self-checkout lane... ;)

We stop ourselves from saying words like, "dumb", "stupid", "butt" ....you know, those bad words that would sound too awful coming from a sweet toddler mouth....:)

But we're not so great at stopping ourselves from using irritated tones and making side comments on exhausting days such as these.

I can't exactly pursue a God-honoring home whenever my tone and speech become sour during difficult circumstances. I can give myself grace to mess up and pray that God will clean up the messes I make (because I am human, and I WILL make mistakes). God's grace is sufficient and His mercies are new EVERY morning...including those mornings that begin WAY too early - He knows. He chose us to be mommies and daddies to these babies - and HE never makes mistakes. :)

As mommies (and daddies), we have a constant audience. Even if our audience is taller than us and awkwardly lanky... ;)  I need to remember this...some days more than other days...but I need to remember that I'm teaching with my every action...word...eye roll...etc.

I learned today that no matter my circumstances, no matter my frustrations, little eyes and ears are on me to learn how to react....and more importantly, how to reflect God to the world in our everyday actions. A terrifying task, but a blessing that God saw fit to choose me for this job, and yet promises to hold my hand EVERY STEP of the way. Praise Him.

Happy Mother's Day...Month

(...my computer was down for weeks. I wrote this for Mother's Day, but couldn't publish it. So, I'm publishing it in honor of Mother's Day Month. We can have that, right?! ;) ).
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The rolls would be piping hot, right from the oven. She would grab them, with bare hands, pop them open, and butter enough to feed 20+ hungry people. I remember thinking, "I want hands like hers."
She would (and still does) prepare Sunday lunch for 20 people without recipes and without measuring. She plants and grows beautiful flowers. She seems to know everything about gardening. She can plant and harvest a garden. I watched her raise and groom dogs. I watched her create clothing and crafts at her sewing machine. All the while, I thought to myself, "I want hands like hers."
My Mama.

The whirl of the sewing machine created the ambiance for my childhood. I watched in amazement at the skill and speed of her hands at the sewing machine creating perfectly frilly frocks for me and perfect crafts for any occasion. Anything she sets her hands to comes out perfectly (whether she thinks so or not). I always think, "I want hands like hers." Her cool hand on my feverish face always made me feel better. Her hand playing with my hair always put me at ease. Even now that I'm grown, her hand on my back makes me feel like everything will be okay. I want hands like her.
She gives selflessly without a thought to her own desires. She always has.
Her hands have rocked my baby to sleep and soothed him when I had no idea how to soothe him during his first weeks of life.
Her hands have taught me how to cook, how to care for my family, and how to show love to my babies. Her hands have taught me how to pray and how to reach for God until I can feel His hand on my face.
I want hands like hers.
My mom.

I've heard both women say their hands look old, ugly, or worn out. I see them as symbols of my childhood and my aspirations as a woman of God and a mother.

When I prepare a meal (and burn my hands in an attempt to handle too-hot food), I feel like I'm on my way to having hands like my Mama.
When my baby relaxes and closes his sleepy eyes when I brush his hair off his face, I feel like I'm on my way to having hands like my mom.

Hands that love, soothe, teach, create, provide, nurture, and pray.

I am beyond blessed to have these women in my life as my mom and mama. I couldn't ask for more talented or faithful women as examples to follow. They have modeled for me the things that really matter - mothering in everyday moments, providing your best for your family, and showing love just by letting a gangly, chatty, tween watch and try her best to be a little more like you.

I pray I remember these things as I raise my family. I pray my hands pass on the love that I've felt
from the hands of these women. I pray I can pass on the same faith that they've passed on to me.

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as we'll." -2 Timothy 1:5

Sweet and Sour Pasta Salad

With warmer weather outside, my appetite focuses on a few southern charms - fresh corn on the cob, fresh green beans, juicy ripe tomatoes, and grilling out. One of my favorite side dishes to go along with these dishes is pasta salad.

This recipe is a family favorite. My mom and mama make it, so I feel really domestic when I make it. ;)

I hope you enjoy!

Sweet and Sour Pasta Salad
(makes 2 servings) .... I normally half this recipe

1 can sweetened condensed milk
2 c mayo
1 c sugar
1 c vinegar
1 t salt
1/2 t pepper

prepared pasta
chopped and prepped fresh veggies of your choice

1.) Whisk together the first 6 ingredients
2.) Pour over pasta and veggies - stir and enjoy!

Couldn't be easier! :)

Cultivating a Toddler's Heart for Christ....Don't Give Up!

I'm writing this post at the end of one of THOSE days. One of those days when a super strong-willed toddler has made a scene in a restaurant, made a scene during maternity pictures, and cried for jellybeans during the entire 30 minute car ride home. It's one of THOSE days when bath and bedtime routines began at 6pm (would you judge me if I told you I actually fed him dinner while he was bathing?? ;) ).

...a strong will against pictures ;) ....and my 33 week bump...

But at the end of this day, while my husband and I sat with our sweet/funny/strong willed toddler, Samuel, in his room, a shining moment happened. Samuel picked up his prayer book and began reading to us. He turned to the correct page and "read" his verse: "The Lord's plans will stand forever". He turned a few more pages and said things like, "worship the Lord," and "God has a purpose for you."

we use and LOVE this devotional - Samuel calls it "Dear God" - you can find it here

I beamed. My husband frantically tried to secretly record this sweet moment. ;) We were both refreshed. Because, no matter the nights that Samuel will fight prayers or devotions, no matter the nights when he sings "Twinkle Twinkle" during our prayers, this shining moment was proof that SOMETHING is getting through to Him.

So mommas (and daddies), don't give up on devotions, prayer, Bible stories, etc. Even if our toddlers are flipping circles in their beds or singing the ABCs while you're reading devotions to them, SOMETHING will get through - God promised that His Word would never return void - it will always accomplish what He plans for it (Is 55:11) - like His plans for us to train up our children in the His ways (Prov 22:6). His Word won't return void...even when spoken to 2-year old ears. :) (and while I'm not to that point yet, I'm placing my bet that the same holds true for teenagers, as well!)


"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Gal 6:9)